Tag Archives: key and peele

Will Write for Attention

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courtesy hollywoodreporter.com

courtesy hollywoodreporter.com

Finding yourself underemployed this holiday season and wondering what to do? Here are some tips:

1. Come up with a signature move. Football players have their endzone dances in times of victory–why not trademark a sassy and unique response to the heave-ho in your moment of defeat? For example, my most recent job loss occurred due to “corporate restructuring.” Had I only read the writing on the wall (aka a vaguely threatening and misspelled email regarding productivity from a higher-up with a loose grip on grammar), I would have been able to prepare what I wish had been my parting words: “Restructure THIS!” and then moonwalked out the front door with both middle fingers blazing. Or there was my previous job, when my boss let me go after I told her I was pregnant and she informed me that “this path [I] had chosen” was going to “interfere with [her] travel plans.” Looking back, the perfect retort would have been, “Oh, you’re going on a trip? What time does the bus leave for HELL?”

Read the rest here!